Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
