so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
