How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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