yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
