great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
