i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
