I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
