I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
