so explain again why im purple
no
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
