bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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