im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
you inspire me to be a worse person
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
