A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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