38 yer olds are good kisserssss
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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