im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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