We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
