its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
