So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
