so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
