you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
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