Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
