I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
