we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
