OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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