Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
