Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
