is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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