he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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