dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
