omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize