i just had sex bonerless
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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