chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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