So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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