Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
