I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
