his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just blew my weed a kiss
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
