I think my fart just growled at me.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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