I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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