i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
