Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
