the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
