i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
