Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
