I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
