do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
