I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I can't put those talents on a resume
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize