DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She needs sedatives and a leash
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
