I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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