I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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