How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
