Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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