Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
