Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize