i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
