been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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