after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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