A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
