I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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