Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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