For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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