So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
