It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Is it penis luge time yet?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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