Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
