singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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