I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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