No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
