When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
